I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
