Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
