remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
