Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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