I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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