3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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