I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize