if you like me you must not know who I am
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
