Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
