is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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