Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize