We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
drinking out of a sandbucket again
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
