id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
