Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
