sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
