i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
