my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
