Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
