Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon

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(503): View more from Oregon

what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?

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(801): View more from Utah

You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.

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(305): View more from Florida

i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(586): View more from Michigan

May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.

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(235): View more from

I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.

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(512): View more from Texas

We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry

(1+44): View more from

I wondered why I slept in the front room

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