yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...