Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck