my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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