i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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