I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
