I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize