Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can I color on your dick again?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
