did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
