O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
And the cops told us we were all naked.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
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Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
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Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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