i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize