Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
