I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
another moral hangover. fuck.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
