Where are you?
In a non slutty way
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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