If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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