You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
