I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize