Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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