and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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