i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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