You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
