I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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