SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
