Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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