3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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