Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
