It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
