OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
