Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
