she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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