i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
