The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
