I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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