White coat. Heels.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
