after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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