If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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