you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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