I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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